Some of my DailyKos Houston friends should brush up their essay skills and get to work before June 13, 2015. Across my FB this morning came this little interesting twist on the typically absurd real estate market in H-Town. A realtor named Michael Wachs is selling his extremely cool and exceptionally located 1,056 sqft/2 bedroom/1 bath/2car garage, restored 1920's Heights bungalow for $150.00 to the person judged (by the owners) as having the best application essay. The home is appraised at $394K+ and even $150K would be an insane giveaway for this place, but One Hundred Fifty Dollars?
I'm going out on a limb here to guess this is somehow a PR stunt for his real estate business, though I can't seem to find any evidence to support that other than the fact he is selling a beautiful house in an extremely desirable neighborhood for $150. Seems legit.
Folks in my Houston world are speculating not just on whether it's real but on exactly what type of essay is most likely to win the hearts of the owners. Struggling family? People who want to restore to the Nth degree? Someone with a disability? The Theosophical Society up the street?
A look at that link (to his stale blog) suggests he's a creative type and his Twitter page suggests by appearances that he's a pretty typical funky-hipster Houston rich dude. The city is all about appearances, though, especially when it comes to destroying old ones to build new ones, so caveat emptor in regard to assumptions about real estate in the Bayou City.
As an avid reader of Swamplot.com, Houston's independent, reflective and decidedly skeptical real estate blog, I am trending away from desperate pleas from people down on their luck and more toward someone who will fit in with the established patterns of gentrification when it comes to winning essays. "Two gay men with matching corgis and Audi's" is the current leading guess among my set on FB. It's probably a safe bet, but who knows. He could sell it to a Tarot Reader with a flashing neon sign because he hates his immediate neighbor. Or perhaps a Massage Parlor.
After all, Houston has no zoning laws. Anyone who has ever lived there knows exactly what I'm talking about.
There is this part of the site, however. It may be a hint of their mindset, and it's certainly laudable:
There is a bill—HB 2979—in the Texas House that is very important to our family and up for vote Thursday, May 14th. It would change hearing aids from being considered "cosmetic devices" to medically necessary. If you have a moment, there's more information about it here. Thank you!Houston Heights is a beautiful area and Sunset Heights, where this home is located, is the architectural garden district of the hood. For local readers, if you haven't driven through the old Heights town center for several years you might want to go and take a look. It's alive and kicking, and way busy. Sunday morning is probably better than Saturday afternoon, but traffic is insane regardless.
While I like to see previously dead areas like 19th St. in the Heights come back, I really miss the old inner-loop Houston. You know, the one that was there before they tore it down for mid-rise apartments, ridiculous $1mil modernist boxes, aluminum triple deckers and cheaply built expensive condos? Yeah, the old Houston that looked like this, from Swamplot.
That's from today's Daily Demolition Report, memorializing the latest sad tear down, to be replaced by one of the options I list above. Or possibly by more than one of the above, since fitting at least two units where one existed before is how it's done. Peek to the left of the tear down for a hint of what to expect. Those structures will be mold-filled, cracked foundation shit boxes in 15 years or less.
Houston, home of disposable housing.
I knew someone who lived in that building years ago. Upper left apartment. It has beautiful wood floors, as they all did.
On a happier note:
If you want to get in on some really exciting gentrification and are flush with douchbag cash, you could always help drive up property taxes here in Austin as well as help clear out brown people from close-in East Side by jumping on this rare gem.
I know this stuff is happening in lots of places, but the Houston and Austin markets are so out of control it's not even funny. Even less funny, especially for Houston, if that market crashes as it seems to be indicating. Last time that happened you could buy unfinished apartment complexes wholesale for under a million.
Everything is a teardown.
Bitter rant over. Onward! Progress!
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