Kitchen Table Kibitzing: Ask Me Anything about JADE HELM 15!!!!

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Hey sheeple.

While many of you are too busy fighting in the hiddens over third degree Berns and the Clintonary Financial Complex, some of y’all MAY have noticed that other, importenter things are going on right here in Texas, Amercia’s back yard. If your news consumption is restricted to lamestream media sources then I suppose you could be forgiven for not realizing the gravity of what is happening deep in the heart of Texas, but I doubt it. It probably just means you’re complacent. Huh.

That’s right, I said Texas, the Lone Star State: home of the Blue Bell Ice Cream listeria scam, American Theirstory Textbooks and a plethora of big ass gun shows. In fact, everything is bigger in Texas, and everything happens here first. Like the first Smartest Congressman, the first most investigative reporter and the first smartest man.

But there's another first happening right now as we speak, and that's the first impending reoccupation of the sovereign Republic of Texas homeland via Presidential fiat, to include the taking away of all guns bought at big ass gun shows, the reeducation of yourself and your children in FEMART camps, and the general crapping-on of you and yourn by The Federal Obamament.

I know there’s summa y’all think I’m crazy for saying it, but if there is anyone here at Daily Kos who knows what the hell he or she is talking about when it comes to protecting Texas, it’s me. What makes me the authority to do an AMA about the most serious breach of sovereignty and federal aggression since the Obama ACAIRS ACA upholding Gay everything Civil War? Pffft….

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You see that? It says BASTROP. And JADE HELM 15 started today in BASTROP, which is my name. I shouldn't really have to say anything more, but now that I have your attention let me point out the rest of my qualifications listed in the part of my profile I'm authorized to release to the public. Namely, that my Groups are a)Top History Science Vanguard, so what's your fucking problem? And two) Texas Houston Texas People. That's a statewide gang for the most part. Just sayin'.

Also, I know it says I live in Austin, but I can explain that. And besides, Austin is right up the road from Bastrop, and even though I didn't go there today sources tell me the shit got real. I even referenced that in my sig line before today, so, second-guess at your own distress.

Point is, I used to live there and I am named after it here, so you should trust me when I tell you I will give you the unvarnished truth about all the goings on, the ramifications of said goings on, the potential for disaster and mayhem that’s existing just around the corner from me at this very moment in time. Because if there is anything I feel passionate about more than the spinach feta wrap at Starbucks and my iced quad espresso with four raw sugars, it’s protecting you from them via the internet.

You are my peeps! Or is that sheeps?

Go set a watchman then sound the alarm! And don’t trip over the cow pie on your way over the fold. It’s a battlefield out here and we got plenty of them…